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“Americans are beginning to notice Obama’s elevated opinion of himself. There’s nothing new about narcissism in politics. Every senator looks in the mirror and sees a president. Nonetheless, has there ever been a presidential nominee with a wider gap between his estimation of himself and the sum total of his lifetime achievements?”
“His most memorable work is a biography of his favorite subject: himself.”
This is a great column by Charles Krauthammer. [Link]
John had several hundred young hens, or 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept meticulous records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, old Al, was a very fine specimen but this morning he noticed old Al's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets--bells-a-ringing--but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To John's amazement, old Al had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Al he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Al the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet-surprise as well.
Clearly old Al was a politician. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.
In today’s world our communications are much more sophisticated than our perspective. The recent tomato scare is a case in point. According to the CDC about 940 people have been sickened since May with Salmonella saintpaul poisoning that was initially attributed to uncooked tomatoes. The news was instantly flashed throughout North America and the ‘red menace’ almost immediately began disappearing from salads, sandwiches and salsas. By June 10 Florida’s tomato industry was in “complete collapse” (Reuters). Mexico, already strained by the sharp corn (not to mention oil) price increases, must now contend with tons of produce rotting in warehouses.
Now comes word that maybe it wasn’t tomatoes after all. Jalapeno peppers (and possibly cilantro) are the latest suspect, so everybody stay away from Mexican restaurants!
Nahhhh…..in fact I ate an excellent meal just last night in Houston at Little Pappasitos, and I’m fat and happy. Of course it’s possible my margarita neutralized the salmonella, but that’s a precaution I always take at Mexican restaurants! (Sometimes I take two large doses of that medicine, just to be on the safe side!)
Okay let’s run some numbers and assume (very conservatively) that only 25% of the US population regularly eats tomatoes. That’s about 75 million people, so if 1000 get sick that puts my chances at 1 in 75,000, about the same as the odds of my getting a hole-in-one in golf—before I drink the margaritas.
More chips and salsa, waiter….and bring me another ‘rita.
I just ran across a wonderful Reagan story in vol.2 of Bill Bennett’s great history, “America the Last Best Hope”:
Reagan…and the Queen [Elizabeth II] were both avid riders. Reagan’s men were especially eager to get “visuals” of the president and the Queen riding at the royal estate at Windsor. As the two heads of state galloped up a steep hill, however, the Queen’s horse let out a long, loud blast of gas.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. President,” the Queen said.
Without hesitation, Reagan responded: “It’s alright, Your Majesty; I thought it was the horse.”
